I should be studying, but I’m not. I guess somethings never change. I got bored and decided to look at people’s tumblr. I guess somethings do change. But I’m probably not one of them.

What to say? It’s been a while, I guess I’ve just been busy with a million things. And busy with nothing.

Busy is busy. But don’t lose yourself in just being busy. Find something worthwhile to do. Something that’s worth your time.

If you ever do, keep working at it.

As for me, I’ll keep floating :)

I sincerely am sorry for doing this to you. It kills me more than you know. And each word feels heavy. I wish there was an easier way but this is the only way. I’m not perfect for you and I know that if I leave you will find someone better. I can no longer be the one that protects you by being by you. But I hope that I can always protect you from afar. Watching you grow, watching you meet new people. Watching you experience life for it’s fullest. You have so much to give and I wished with all my heart I could but share the journey with you. But every trial and path has it’s end and we have reached ours.

I wish so much that I could be the one to see you grow. To grow with you. I wanted to experience so many things with you. But it seems that it will never be. You meant a lot to me and I wish I didn’t have to lie to you. It seems wrong to have to tell you so many things when I didn’t mean a single one. But I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to see you cry over me anymore. I wish I could keep you smiling but I know that I could never.

Maybe I didn’t try hard enough….maybe there’s just something wrong with me. I don’t know what it is. But I don’t want to hurt you while I try to figure out what is wrong with me.

Some of the best times I experienced with you. I wish so much that I could do things differently. But what’s done is done.

The only thing I can do is watch you from afar. Hope to protect you in whatever way I can. I know you’ll go on to do great things….and find the one that can truly love you the way you deserve.

You will always remain in my heart. Though years may pass you may start to fade a little but I will always remember parts of you. I can only hope and pray that you have done everything you wanted and that you have found true happiness.

You will still remain one of the most beautiful people I will ever meet.

I only wish I could but shared your journey.

Maybe there are so many untold things I wish I could tell you.

The only thing I have left are the memories we made. I will remember each one. And at night when I realize I left someone I loved with all my heart I will feel horrible. I will feel like an idiot. And I will realize this is worth it because you will find true happiness. I wish I could say it lies with me. But it doesn’t. I will curse myself for being too weak for you. For wishing so much to be everything for you. But failing in every way.

I only wish you will not hate me for what I’ve done. I didn’t know what else to do but to tear you away from me. By telling you lies and harsh words that never meant anything.

I wish I didn’t have to see you walk away. I wish you didn’t have to feel so sad. I wish I could just hug you again and tell you that everything will be fine. That everything will just pass over like the clouds. Leaving a dark sport for just the moment but eventually leaving.

I wish that I could stop wishing for things. But with you I wish a lot. Someone once asked me if I believed in Love. I didn’t. And maybe it sounds lame and cliched to say I found it with you. If I didn’t find it with you I can at least say I saw a glimpse of how the heart truly is and what it means to love a person unconditionally.

I know my work should have never gotten in the way of our relationship. But it did. I swore that I would never let it, but it did. I wish it didn’t. I wish that I didn’t have so much work or that I didn’t work on so many things at once. I wish I could spend all my time with you because you are my most valuable investment of my time. I regret none of the time we spent together.

I’m sorry. With all my Heart I truly am sorry for what I’ve done. There is no excuse nor redemption for what I’ve done. I can only hope that what I gave up will lead you to a better future than you had with me. I can only hope though I see no redemption is that I see your smiling face and your happiness fulfilled….and that you are truly at peace with yourself.

Chris.